As a Couples Coach I can insure that your work on your relationship proceeds in a feeling
state of caring about each other. You already know too well how to be upset with each
other. By our building on a foundation of what works in the relationship we can add to
and create the interactions that you need to feel more loved.
Over the years in coaching couples I’ve noticed a couple of things that I’ve not found to be discussed by other marriage counselors. They are:
1) Some things need to be said multiple times (“I love you” is the obvious one... how many others can you think of?)
2) All of us need reassurance, but what we need to be reassured about is different person to person. I combine these ideas with a very big idea that almost every marriage counselor addresses: miscommunication!
My method of addressing this goes much deeper than
slowing the exchange down by having each person first say “What I hear you saying is____________ . “
(One way suggested this is actually teaching couples to actively and purposefully distort what the other is saying.)
My practice of couples coaching is most often done in the couples home. I provide this service in the place and at times that are convenient to you.
You could learn to respond differently to each other in a counselors office. Some sessions are recommended to take place in the presence of the normal cues of your home. A comfortable and familiar environment assists in responses being noticeably different and better.
The choice of how to communicate and how often to work together is up to you, based on each couples unique personal needs.
I believe that each of us has our own definitions of those things that are truly valuable. But each of us has a different definition!
When the husband responds to the wife’s request for respect by saying, “I do respect you! I open doors for you!” and the wife responds
“See you’re not even listening right now!”, it makes perfect sense to the person who understands that they have different behavior actions connected to the idea word “respect.” Each value or idea word constitutes a category of multiple behaviors.
My category “respect” might be most similar to your category of “acknowledgment” in behavior, and your category of “respect” might be closer to my category of “polite.”
Did you know that health insurance does NOT pay for marriage counseling? In order to be seen as a couple and have your insurance used, one of you has to be “the identified patient” and given a psychiatric diagnosis!
There are multiple problems of stigma, future insurance limitations, imbalance of power in the relationship etc. that result from this. If one of you is suffering from a psychiatric illness, proper medical treatment is an absolute necessity. If you need help in finding this, I will help you do so.
There are relationships that work stupendously. Your relationship could be one of them.
Contact me now to schedule a free discovery session at
or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org